Mania Crash

I slept pretty good last night and woke up in a good mood since I didn't have to go to work.  The kids would be over in a couple of hours to stay the next couple of nights It's not my weekend by per usual my husbands business comes before the kids, bonus for me I get the extra time with them and that is never a bad thing.

I could have slept in but was up at 5AM unable to go back to sleep so I had a cup of coffee and was going to relax and catch up on TIVO but couldn't sit still.  Next thing I know I am getting out the paint supplies and painting the basement stairway walls -- now I've been meaning to do this since I moved in in March and haven't had the urge to do it until this morning.  Again not a bad thing, it needed to be done.  About an hour later with some rocking out to my running playlist I was done.

My husband came with the kids, my son will be 4 years old tomorrow so we decided to open gifts and do a mini cake quickly before he had to leave so he wouldn't have to come back in the morning.  I made them breakfast, a few hours later we had lunch..... then I crashed.

Completely numb, exhausted, depressed.  Everything was going so well.  I slept, I accomplished something, I was enjoying time with my kids..... then I crashed.  It's 3:30PM now, I crashed  around 1PM and it's just getting worse.  I'm down, I can't get back up, and I can hardly fake being a good mom right now.  I just want to crawl in my bed, cry and go to sleep.

What  gives.  It's never just a smooth day it's from one feeling to the other without any warning or control.  I just want to be "normal".  Maybe tomorrow will be more stable.... Today is a bust.

#bipolar #crashed #depression #mania

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