Stuck
I've been going through something different lately - I've decided to call it stuck. I'm not depressed, anxious, manic or anything I normally cycle through with my bipolar. I am just here. Completely dead inside with no feelings, no "mood", just here..... stuck. I'm just going through the motions of the day to day because I guess I have to and should be happy I'm not suffering from my normal ups and downs but I'm not. I don't think I can ever be happy or in the right emotion at the right time. The 4 year old finally had his birthday party today. We had to cancel the first one due to a virus and brief visit to the ER for fluids. All of his friends were able to come and he was so excited and happy. I want to feel just a pinch of that happiness because I'm missing out on the most important times of my life being such a fucked up mess. I know even normal people have their ups and downs - but my normal is dead and empty. I just want to ...