Holiday Weekend
It is so strange to have your kids for the weekend when you are separated and have your husband come pick you and the kids up to drive an hour and twenty minutes to celebrate your father in laws birthday. Everything is just the same as any other trip as if nothing in life has changed. Except the nagging distraction of racing thoughts in my head about how did I get here? How can he / we just go along as if nothing has happened this last 10 months? How long are we going to continue to pretend that I'm not bipolar or that he didn't abandon me and throw me out of his life when I hit rock bottom? Why do I continue to live this charade hoping one day (after 13 years) that he will somehow get me? Questions that boggled my mind on the drive down, and now traveling back home with him sitting next to me in silence while I write this. Why do I have to over think and analyze everything? Why can't I just be? There sure are a lot of whys in my life and this is j...