Healed
While talking on the phone with my Mother in-Law last night she briefly asked me if I was "feeling better" if I was "over it" addressing losing my shit last year and being diagnosed as bipolar.
I took a deep breath and rather than trying to explain for the umpteenth time that I'm never going to be "over it" that bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression are here to stay. It's not the flu or a cold or even cancer. There is no cure, you don't get over it or get rid of it.
She asked about my meds, what I was taking and I told her, I'm lucky I'm just taking Lamactil in the morning and Abilify in the evenings and so far, I am doing better than I was last year. She then with advised me in a condescending tone, well, make sure you continue to take them. No shit?? Really?? One thing I have going for me is I don't mind taking my meds, and I know they are helping and I will continue to take them, but thanks for the advise and pretending like you know what is going on and what is good for me Dr. Mom.
This is one of so many examples of no one being here for me, no one trying to understand. My own husband - who let me remind you lives in a different house than I do will sometimes ask, are you ok? but only wants to hear yes or no and move on, he won't listen or support me in any way. Would it really kill them to pick up a book and read up on bipolar disorder? I mean I have found a vast amount of easy reading online, it's like a non stop shop for information for any level of interest. There are quick guides, lengthy explanations and then there is me... Look at me, listen to me, and be there for me.
I have gone out of my way to apologize for any hurt or harm that my out of control behavior has caused anyone, do you think for a minute any of my friends or family that have abandoned me would admit that they too are a bunch of assholes? They all carry a lot of shit around and create drama without having a disorder at least not a diagnosed one and I am there for them every inch of the way. Fuck them. Them, I am just about over.
#bipolardisorder #overit
I took a deep breath and rather than trying to explain for the umpteenth time that I'm never going to be "over it" that bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression are here to stay. It's not the flu or a cold or even cancer. There is no cure, you don't get over it or get rid of it.
She asked about my meds, what I was taking and I told her, I'm lucky I'm just taking Lamactil in the morning and Abilify in the evenings and so far, I am doing better than I was last year. She then with advised me in a condescending tone, well, make sure you continue to take them. No shit?? Really?? One thing I have going for me is I don't mind taking my meds, and I know they are helping and I will continue to take them, but thanks for the advise and pretending like you know what is going on and what is good for me Dr. Mom.
This is one of so many examples of no one being here for me, no one trying to understand. My own husband - who let me remind you lives in a different house than I do will sometimes ask, are you ok? but only wants to hear yes or no and move on, he won't listen or support me in any way. Would it really kill them to pick up a book and read up on bipolar disorder? I mean I have found a vast amount of easy reading online, it's like a non stop shop for information for any level of interest. There are quick guides, lengthy explanations and then there is me... Look at me, listen to me, and be there for me.
I have gone out of my way to apologize for any hurt or harm that my out of control behavior has caused anyone, do you think for a minute any of my friends or family that have abandoned me would admit that they too are a bunch of assholes? They all carry a lot of shit around and create drama without having a disorder at least not a diagnosed one and I am there for them every inch of the way. Fuck them. Them, I am just about over.
#bipolardisorder #overit
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