Post Fun Day..... BLAH

Well I got the supports sawed off of the table to pull it apart, now I need to find help to bring it into the house because it's not only awkward but heavy.  I painted an autumn colored owl on a tree on a wood craft board to hang on the door in place of the ribbon and flip flop  wreath.  I even painted a wine bottle jack-o-lantern to get ahead for next months decor needs.

I am happy to say I got my checklist I typed about earlier accomplished.  I'll have to say the music blasting while I did all of that was very helpful, but once I was done.... the lows set in.  Low Low Low Low.

I took a shower, cried.  Got out of the shower and cried.  Crawled in bed and cried.  Took some meds and tried to go to sleep couldn't and cried.  It's been hours.  I can't drag myself up to do anything and I can't sink my mind or body into anything comforting.  I don't know how one stores so much fluid, it seems that I would have run out by now, they just keep streaming down.  I can't tell you why - I'm sure there is a million reasons, but nothing that happened today that should make me feel the way I do.  I'm so tired of crying so so so tired of it.  I'm still just blah, no real feelings today, kind of flat and deadened.  If I have no real feelings, why am I crying?  Oh, right.  Crazy bipolar - that's why.  I waded in the wrong gene pool when I was created.

For anyone taking a moment to read this, I hope your day has been a better one, and just always know tomorrow could be a better day.

#lows #crying #bipolar

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