Distraction
I have spent my entire week in a bubble of distraction. Swirling thoughts, staring off in space, brain consumed with thoughts slamming through my mind - mostly dumb shit that does not pertain to any area of my life. Not sure if it's a medication wall, lack of sleep or just the pure luck of the gene pool being bat shit crazy.
In the midst of these continued feelings - today I get a call, my son has a fever and I need to pick him up from day care. He is 3, and the kindest sweetest boy I have ever known. In an instant that focus I couldn't find went came together. I had a purpose, a mission, something outside of myself outside of work, outside of my shitty friends and family who are never really there for me. My kid needed me, and I needed him. I couldn't get to him fast enough. He's been battling a cold all week and he's a trooper, but we all know that when the fever hits that it's downhill for a couple of days.
It sounds awful, but leaving work to snuggle my sick son was the highlight of my week. Instead of being treated like a prisoner at work and like I don't matter in society I had this little ray of sunshine that needed me. We spent the afternoon watching movies cuddled in blankets in mostly silence and good vibes. We had to leave the house for just a bit to pick up my 7 year old, who is also a rock star, smart and sweet girl. She gave Max a hug and I'm sorry your sick loves. Somehow I've been able to continue to be focused and truly enjoy my day and evening. Maybe it's because the kids are so laid back and a little in need tonight, but I'll take it. I found some calm and distraction from all of those many thoughts and feelings and misery I had been experiencing this past week.
Hang in there friends, the calm and distraction will come to you in unexpected ways, but I will take it.
#bipolardisorder
In the midst of these continued feelings - today I get a call, my son has a fever and I need to pick him up from day care. He is 3, and the kindest sweetest boy I have ever known. In an instant that focus I couldn't find went came together. I had a purpose, a mission, something outside of myself outside of work, outside of my shitty friends and family who are never really there for me. My kid needed me, and I needed him. I couldn't get to him fast enough. He's been battling a cold all week and he's a trooper, but we all know that when the fever hits that it's downhill for a couple of days.
It sounds awful, but leaving work to snuggle my sick son was the highlight of my week. Instead of being treated like a prisoner at work and like I don't matter in society I had this little ray of sunshine that needed me. We spent the afternoon watching movies cuddled in blankets in mostly silence and good vibes. We had to leave the house for just a bit to pick up my 7 year old, who is also a rock star, smart and sweet girl. She gave Max a hug and I'm sorry your sick loves. Somehow I've been able to continue to be focused and truly enjoy my day and evening. Maybe it's because the kids are so laid back and a little in need tonight, but I'll take it. I found some calm and distraction from all of those many thoughts and feelings and misery I had been experiencing this past week.
Hang in there friends, the calm and distraction will come to you in unexpected ways, but I will take it.
#bipolardisorder
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