Shitty Mom Day

I probably should be tracking the days of my depression, I didn't expect it to last so long.  It was all I could do to get out of bed with the kids today.  I have gone from the bed, to the kitchen to make breakfast to the couch to lay down, back to the kitchen for lunch, to the basement to start movies so I can go back to the couch.  I'm doing all I can do not to cry in front of them, and my attitude sucks so I'm trying not to be snippy.  The are such sweet good kids, I don't know what I did to deserve them.  It's Saturday, a stay home day, they look forward to this all week, they just want to do one or two special things with me throughout the day and then for the most part they do well occupying themselves. My 7 year old finally retreated to her room figuring out mom sucks today and I just talked my 3 year old into watching another Netflix movie in the playroom if  I put on his Iron Man costume for him.  He agreed.... Now I'm back in bed, made sure the doors are all locked and am going to try to lay down for a timed hour and see if I can shake the funk for the kids sake.  I wish there were a cure - why do I feel this way, I just want to be normal, instead of being a shitty mom.

#bipolardepression #shittymom